I have been binge-watching a new show on Prime video titled “Soulmates”.

The show is set 15 years into the future when science makes a discovery that changes the lives of everyone on the planet – a way to find your soulmate.

All it takes is one simple test, and those who feel compelled to take it are destined to meet their one true soulmate.

While it is very similar to Black Mirror, Soulmates keeps its central theme in each episode.

Overall, it has been an enjoyable watch, and this led me to discover:

The 3 Soulmates Theory:

This is centred around the idea that over the course of our lifetime, we will fall head-over-heels in love three times.

As we progress through each ‘love’, we grow, evolve and inevitably get our hearts broken; that is, until we land on our third ‘love’, who some might consider ‘the one’.

I also read about Soulmate Energy Exchange.

This can feel intense, undeniable, and often characterized by a deep and immediate connection.

Some people feel a sense of recognition or familiarity as if they have known the person.

This connection can be emotional and physical, often feeling like a mutual attraction.

But I can’t help but wonder if all this is merely infatuation.

How do I know for certain that I have a soulmate?

If I do, have I met them?

If I have, why are we not together?

If I have not, when will I meet them?

Is it bound to last, or is it to be a fling?

If it’s to be a fling, why are they called a soulmate?

Questions breeze through my mind hoping to be answered.

Though I crave that intense, magical feeling of connection with a soulmate, I realize that…

… I have evolved overtime into preferring stability, consistency, and slowness.

Sure, I love a little spontaneity from time to time.

If I had the opportunity to do a soulmate test like the characters did in the series, I would go for it.

But with my experience with intense love that consumes you whole and have you thinking all day about them…

… craving alone time with them…

… changing your wardrobe…

…cutting your hair…

…piercing your skin…

…telling everyone who cares to listen that you are off the market, snatched, taken.

And overtime watching the feeling fade day by day after the honeymoon phase, until you two are back to being strangers.

You meet a new person and the cycle continues?

I will politely pass.

There is something quite unnatural about the idea of having a soulmate

Something superficial

No way our brains get to release that much dopamine all the time.

That kind of effect only happens when on drugs

And that itself is fleeting

You Know What I Crave?

I crave a slow love

I crave a gentle love

I crave a stable love

I crave a certain love

I crave a peaceful love

I crave a love that trickles when it needs to and gushes when it has to

The idea of a mature, relaxed love fills me with excitement

But I have come to a place of acceptance that maybe “Soulmates” are not responsible for our happiness

Maybe they are placed in our lives to help us grow as a person and grow more in love with ourselves

I have come to accept that the love I need might not happen in the process that I want

I have come to accept that the way I love myself might not be the way my partner comes to love me

Not everyone gets a soulmate who magically makes them happy and fills the rest of their lives with purpose and satisfaction

I have come to accept that it is my responsibility to love me, and fill me, and make me happy

I have come to accept that I am my own soulmate

and you know what? That is super cool.