Watching Joyce Meyer speak about “The Pit” is insightful.

For me, my pit has recently been my bathroom too. I don’t exactly have a mirror in my bathroom at the moment, and I also have not been able to bring myself to the point of crying lately. But I definitely have had those ugly moments when I just can’t stop crying and feeling sorry for myself, so I can relate to everything Joyce had to say about the pit.

And just like Joyce, I have had those moments when I felt absolutely ridiculous while in that state. “C’mon, girl!” I would say to myself over and over again, “You’ll be fine.”

What I have found, or rather, what my brain has found particularly helpful, and might I say ‘enjoyable’, is selective amnesia. This is when my brain decides that some memories are particularly triggering and decides that she no longer wants to hold space for it, so after that undesirable experience has passed, my brain joyfully lets go of that memory.

And voila! Memory erased.

The good thing about that is I sincerely don’t remember what happened or who did what anymore. It’s like it never happened.

But the downside of that is whenever I get reminded of that experience or as much as sight a picture or a person, or hear a sound or a voice that reminds me of that experience, all the memories come gushing in like a flood and now I remember! I remember too much! Oh gosh, make it stop!

I have had a lot of these cringe moments over the years, so much that I got to a point where I began to use these forced remembrances as learning moments where I observe the scenario from a third person perspective by understanding what happened, why I did what I did, why they did what they did, why God let those things happen, and what lesson I was meant to learn from that.

For months, and maybe years, I have kept on with this little exercise of mine, picking up little lessons as these forced memories invaded my mind one after the other.

A lot of them came unexpectedly when I was between consciousness and the dream world, too painful to bear and I would have to cry out to the Holy Spirit for help and for strength, or quote Scripture in my mind just to gain some peace to be able to fall asleep again.

The more I remembered, the more I realized the level of dysfunction that I had been surrounded by. It’s not particularly easy to write deep stuff like this.

I said I was going to keep the deep stuff away from my blog, but it would be rather pretentious of me to go about writing like I am not a human being with diverse emotions and experiences and not exactly a robot.

I write my truth so people can understand that success does not mean that all the problems in your life suddenly disappear. It does not mean that you stop feeling all levels of emotions, both positive and negative. Those do not stop. As long as we are human we will continue to feel, regardless of how successful we are.

One thing that has remained constant, however, is God’s love for me. His love has helped me realize how destructive self pity is. It’s like a vaccum that sucks everything in its path. And the more we feed it, the more it grows.

God said to me, “You can be pitiful or powerful but take your pick because you can’t be both.”

Joyce Meyer

Can we all admit that it is not exactly a piece of cake to not feel pity for yourself and all the things you never got the chance to do or be or live up to?

A lot of us are still very young and we still want to do and be a lot, but the things that have passed in the last couple of years keep us so fixated and… angry.

Yes, angry. Our self pity stems from anger. Not just anger at others, but ourselves. For not just getting it done or getting it right.

And so, we drag our feet every day, freaking DONE. We have had it down to the last straw. We say, “No more!”

7 POINTS ON HOW TO HAVE YOUR SOUL COMPLETELY HEALED

1. You must receive God’s unconditional perfect love for you.

“Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” (It is time to have a life.)

Jesus in John 5:8

Bible references:

John 11:43, Daniel 3:23-27

This is the first and probably the hardest step for me. I grew up in a strict Catholic home and attended Church service every day. I grew up believing that I needed to show up to be loved by God. I did not believe that I was enough to be loved even when I was not performing or praying and worshipping or reciting the Rosary. I did not believe in this perfect love of Christ until I turned 13 and witnessed a miracle in my own body! Yes, Jesus healed me at 13.

But after the healing came multiple scenarios that put me in fight or flight mode. I found myself running from toxicity and dysfunction. Running to keep the peace. Running to stay sane. Running to feel like myself. The only place I stayed were places I had to perform to be loved or accepted. You see, I took on this acting thing a little too literally.

So, when confronted with such profound truth that even my insides can’t begin to understand, I feel shaken to my core. You mean God loves me even when I consciously decide to spend my time sinning? Is this part of my journey? If this is really true, then I have so much to unlearn about everything I have been told.

God loves me, Ezinne, as I am. And that will never change.

God loves me, Ezinne, as I am. And that will never change.

God loves me, Ezinne, as I am. And that will never change.

2. You must receive God’s perfect forgiveness, and that means you have to forgive yourself.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Psalms 103:12 NIV

The only way that I have been able to live with myself despite all my regrets and guilt and shame for all the sins I have comnmitted and all my inactions is to accept that Christ has already forgiven me by dieing on the cross for my sins. He has already paid the price that we could never pay even if we die trying.

So the only sensible thing to do is to give Jesus my ashes and accept His beauty every single day of this wonderful life that He has bestowed upon me. That is the only thing that makes sense in this senseless world.

3. Completely forgive all the people that have hurt you.

All those years I stayed angry at my father didn’t change him or make him want to repent. All unforgiveness does is slam the door on what God wants to do in your life.

Joyce Meyer

Aargh! Difficult, right? Not exactly the type of stuff anyone wants to hear. Especially when you think about some deep, messed up thing someone did to us. For me, I can’t even wrap my head around it. I have had nightmares from some of the crazy stuff that people did to me while growing up. Nights when I sweated and I cried and all I could utter was “Jesus, help me!”

Nights when it felt like I was right there being hurt again… and I couldn’t get away from it.

That level of hurt has caused me to live with buried anger for years. And I am definitely not the only one. Many of us are so profoundly livid. If there was a shooting arena closeby we would probably go there every morning to clear our heads. Pick up a gun and just fire away. Damn, I would LOVE to do that right now.

The level of anger a lot of us carry in our hearts is probably the hidden explanation why we have loads of gym rats in society today. I mean, we have to lose weight and stay fit so we work out. But we also have to burn some steam. Either that or receiving a sentence for manslaughter right? Nobody wants that. So we will rather work out, run, or jog, or rut away in our pit.

But whatever we choose to do isn’t going to take bitterness out of our hearts for good. The only thing that can take bitterness and offense out of our hearts is genuinely deciding to forgive. That is the key.

Instead of staying bitter at those that hurt us, Jesus encourages us to pray for them.

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

Romans 12:14

We don’t have to like them or want to be their friends or anything like that. When we bless and intercede for our enemies, we do it as an act of obedience.

4. No more self-pity. Count your blessings every day!

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Revelations 21:4

Gratitude is a door of opportunities! It has transformed my mood and my emotions and even in the moments I felt like my absolute worst, whenever I redirected my focus to all the good things God has done for me and my family, I immediately feel much lighter and thankful to God, and I ask for His forgiveness for the times I was ungrateful and nearly believed the lies that the devil was whispering.

I am blessed. You are blessed. We are all blessed.

Whatever I am going through, it is going to be okay.

Whatever you are facing, it is going to be just fine.

Open your Bible to Revelations 21 and see for yourself the promises and gifts that God has prepared for His own people. We are all going to be fine, so cheer up!

5. Stop blaming others for your problems.

Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.

Romans 12:21

We have all messed up one way or the other. I have been at fault in a lot of situations. I have been the bad guy. I have made uncountable errors. I am flawed. I am in fact, not perfect.

It is an incredibly hard thing to admit to our own mistakes, especially when we have been hurt many times to the point that your mind begins to tell you that you might possibly be a victim. But that is not true.

There is no one in the surface of the earth right now who has never made a mistake or never hurt anyone. No one. Not even your spiritual leaders. The only person who is absolutely flawless and devoid of mistakes, in fact, unable to make any form of mistake is our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am really still learning how to be a hundred percent accountable for everything in my life. Maybe 80% there now. And the reason I struggled with accountability for so long was because I was hurt. I was just on my own, minding my business, and they came to hurt me, so they are the bad guys. They and Them. That was the story I chose to identify with for a while.

All painful things come from the devil, he just finds someone to work through. The way you get back at the devil is by doing as much good as you can, every day of your life to as many people as you can, as long as you breathe.

Joyce Meyer

Hurt people hurt others

Loved people love others

Prayerful people pray for others

Blessed people bless others

6. Stay in the Word! Stay in the Word! Stay in the Word!

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12

The Word of God is our antidote. It is our passage. It is our key. It is our daily bread. It is our Living Water. We can not get too much of it.

It takes practice and consistency to keep looking to the Word of God for direction. It is very easy to get sucked into the lifestyle of the world and forget that we have been bought with a price by God. We are not our own. It’s a hard truth, but it is one that sets us free.

7. Be patient. Let the Holy Spirit lead. Help as many people as you can possibly help.

If people throw enough junk on you and you keep shaking it off and getting on top, one day you will just walk off and go take your place in the palace.

Joyce Meyer

This season, I am choosing to be patient. This season, I will let people talk. This season, I will focus on becoming aligned to God’s original purpose for me.

Shake it off, and get on top.

Link to watch full video on YouTube. Uwc.

Thank You Jesus!

Welcome, 2025.