You don’t really know grief until you have lost a family member or a close, dear friend

You never really understand how your life can change significantly in the midst of it

Yes, I say in the midst because grief happens in stages

Today you are numb, so you convince yourself that you have finally moved on

Tomorrow you are an emotional wreck so sunk in your misery that you forget to count your blessings

I hope you remember then that despite the fact that you are changing, you are still the same person

The same sweet, kind, nurturing, graceful soul that your loved ones hold dear to their hearts

The same darling that gives them a warm feeling in their hearts whenever they think of you

I hope you remember that grief changes everything you think and feel, but not everything you have

I hope you hold close the people in your lives that are still alive

I hope for your sake that in the process of your grief, you don’t treat them like they don’t matter

But rather, that you treat them like they greatly matter

I hope you give the people in your life their flowers while they are still here

Most importantly, I hope you give yourself your flowers

You are so precious

All of the plants and animals in the world combined, despite their value, could not hold more value than you

You are one of a kind

God taught of Himself when He created you

You are a masterpiece

You don’t want to wait until your dying moments to realize this

Hold yourself in a tight embrace

Guard your heart like the walls of Jericho

Shield your peace like Noah’s Ark

Uphold your welfare like Joseph did baby Jesus

Understand in the depth of your heart that you are important

Now, here, in this moment, you carry life

And if you would do anything for the loved ones you have lost to have life again, you wouldn’t hesitate

So don’t hesitate to respect and love yourself now, while you still have life

You can cry loud, and you can sob

You can roll yourself on the ground and scream

You can stare at the wall all day and not say a word

You can sleep all day or work yourself out so you don’t have to think

You can do anything that you decide

But after you are done, pick up all your pieces

And you keep going forward

If not for your sake, for the sake of your loved ones

Keep moving, and don’t ever stop

Because as long as you have life, you have hope

As long as you have life, you have faith

As long as you have life, you have love

As long as you have life, you have joy

Grief indeed changes everything, but it will never change the fact that you have life

God is with you. 🤍

Ezinne Akam Avatar

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31 responses to “Grief changes everything”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    😍

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    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      Ride on and more grease to your grace my dear

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    2.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      ❤️❤️❤️🙏

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  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    this is so interesting to read thank you for sharing this 🥰🌺

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  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Wow, this is an amazing write read it twice like as if I was talking to myself

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    1. David Abbas Avatar
      David Abbas

      Thank you very much for reminding (us) about the value of every single moment.

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  4.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Great write up!!!

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  5.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    welldone Zinny

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  6.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Well done

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  7.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I love this!! It’s so well thought out

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  8.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Beautiful

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  9. David Abbas Avatar
    David Abbas

    Thank you very much for reminding me (everyone) how we should value and cherish every moment of our days with love ones and MOST ESPECIALLY “OURSELVES”

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  10.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Wow nice write up, it really reflects what I pass through while grieving my mom

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  11.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I learnt a lot from this beautiful piece. You made my day. You’re an exceptionally talented writer.

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  12.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    this amazing piece really make my day

    the part you said “Grief indeed changes everything, but it will never change the fact that you have life” makes me think deep that no matter what happens I have to love myself and move on from any brief am going through

    thanks for sharing this with me

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    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      This is amazing 🥰💞

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      1.  Avatar
        Anonymous

        This is real Beautiful and helpful, thank you so much for this💖

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  13.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This is amazing 😍 keep it up girl

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  14.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This so much resonates with me. I’m still grieving my Dad, in ways that I never even thought was possible!

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  15.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Really beautiful piece Ezinne, I loved the stanzas about also being aware of being precious and guarding one’s heart and peace above all else.

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  16.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    wow, lovely piece “we’re one of a kind” and “God thought about Himself when he created us” if God created us like Himself then we’re God. So we can achieve anything we want to

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  17.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I read your reflection and it was beautiful, Zinny. Thought provoking and very moving, thank you. It reminded me of the delusion of permanence, of resistance and attachment, and of the importance of allowing life to flow… Of observing, honouring, and accepting with love and grace. Grief changed me and my life view, but over time I grew grateful for the depth and growth that it contributed. The grounding in ‘the now’, the life audit and reaffirmation of important values, the power of not conceding to a construct based in lack, but instead a renewed appreciation of what I have been fortunate to experience, and a renewed focus on what is still present. Your writing caused me to reflect upon the importance of nurturing relationships, community and bolstering self care/love. I would like to think that all things have equal value as integral components of something so much bigger than we can comprehend; all necessary to the completeness of the whole. By their very nature, I have found that duality, paradox, gradients and the space in between expand awareness and gratitude whilst guiding direction and intention. That said, I loved how you spoke to the unique design, creativity and magnitude of possibility within each of us that deserves awe, respect and due diligence.

    You gave me the gift of reflection upon where my personal boundaries could be refined to protect my peace and spiritual sanctuary, where I could stop people pleasing in fear of rejection, in order to strengthen the quality of my inner circle. Thank you.

    You inspired me not to inhibit authentic expression, as I have done many times in fear of how I may be perceived. Thank you.

    You encouraged me to reflect on the various counter intuitive manners in which I have delayed or avoided feeling and processing, in favour of sitting in my feelings, due to conditioning to ‘push on forwards’.. and to allow the unavoidable progression of a stress cycle to complete and meet its beginning, instead of inhibiting my ‘leaky emotions’; valuable messengers that I should more frequently heed the wisdom of. Thank you.

    You inspired me to dwell more intentionally in my life force, and be truly grateful for every event that has culminated in this moment. To value the phoenix like qualities that resilience and determination afford. Thank you.

    You reminded me to cherish those I love, and to act upon every opportunity to demonstrate where I hold them in my regard and heart, instead of shrinking back in thinking but not acting. Thank you.

    There are times I have kept going for my children alone, and you reminded me that regardleds of who it is for, it is vital never to give up. Because, there is a plan written that is outside of our comprehension and as conscious creators, our beliefs create our realities. Thank you Zinny ❤️

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    1.  Avatar
      Anonymous

      (I forgot to say, Thank you for connecting on the Mindset Group Community with Paul Sheppard https://www.mindsetchangeuk.com 🥰, Navenka xx

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  18.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Thank you for choosing to be a conduit of positivity in this dark world. ♥️

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  19.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    May your path be smooth and quick

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  20.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Thank you for the reminder, Ezinne.
    You’re such an exceptional writer 🫶🏽

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  21.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Rare and reflective❤️

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  22.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    👍🏼

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  23.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Very Deep And Insightful. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  24.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Thank you for this piece zinny.Very important subject matter.Cheers

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  25.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    nice work Zee

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